hmm..visit to 'Kaya'!!

Why I need to write on this…..

Coz it made me feel so lost..so low..so so etc..etc..(everything not so good)

…it was one of the days and one of the lunch sessions that me and a friend at work decided to check out this really cool skin clinic opened nearby and we landed there with an ear to ear grin beaming with pride that we were the coolest ones to be checking it out…both of us did have it in our brains that no matter what we were not gonna spend a penny, so there we go, nice place huh!!! All so new and clean quite small actually but OK , and then came the dainty one asking why we were there..obviously we can’t tell her that we were bored at work & wanted to kill some time:-) and then came the wonder words…M’am since this branch has opened newly we are offering free consultation..yippee..both of us looked each other and were again back to our ear to ear Smiley.

Ok..we settled for consultation and we said we shall walk in together as we don't have much time on us..obviously we still needed to visit the nearby Domino’s (how could we miss dat?!)………………..and then we walked into a tiny place we nearly had to squeeze ourselves thanks to my thin framed friend..we were still okay, maybe I will write about her in future sometime.
Anyways to our utter disappointment it was a female Dr.(people knowing me already must be so sad for me..)and then asks as if there was a gift to be given and who would be the first one to volunteer..and I promptly say ‘ME’ looking at my Punjabi “oh-so-beautiful” friend and her flawless complexion. There I sat with my face straight up and staring at nowhere in particular, Dr. scans my face with the magnifier lens(ohsoboring types) and says I have a nice complexion but some pigmentation, wrinkles, dark circles and then the crowfeet and the frown line on forehead…hellooooooo stop not a word after this..i would have killed her easily…

She went on to say how much damage the Sun had did to my skin..deep within me I was sulking coz no one ever told me the situation was so bad..i went from bad to worse..she said there were DPN’s (ByJoe I really do not know what actually this is, but I distinctly remember her saying this) and to come to the smile she says I have a great smile but there are lines which are formed which is bad and then she concentrates at my forehead and says I have a deep frown line(the one like Nazeruddin shaw or Om puri..really don't remember whom she mentioned said they have them too…and then this topic on fillers and Botox came up and I started wit a lot of questions at her and my fren was surprised at my so called knowledge on all this..then the Doc came up with an estimate on how much it would cost for all of this stuff to get back to OK and the estimate ran in 5 figure amount and I went nuts………………….*****.

Now it was my fren’s turn mind u she is one of those pahadi who is blessed with a gr8 skin, no doubt about it..Doc spoke to her in length on her redness of her skin and called that Rosacia and I sat there wondering Y not lotusasia or any other acia??? I always never trusted these docs..she referred some treatment to her as well and she I knew was fuming and was telling me under my breath nothing doing im not doing any crap”

Finally we came out of the observation room(Im so bad with this nomenclature of rooms etc.,) and again presented our million dollar smile (but I doubted while I smiled if it will further harm the laugh line)and said THANKS..we would get back(never would ) then on we moved to Dominos and binged on chicken tikka topped pizzas and juicy chicken wings and nice cold Ice tea….but deep down my heart I still was wondering why it was a problem to smile and have a line and frown and have a line….and crow feet..each of the line there was for the happiness and problems I faced so jubilantly over the years…the pain endured during difficult times..and everything else,….is it so easy to fill it up wit some fillers or BOTOX,

Maybe I will leave it like that..never wanted to be beautiful coz beauty for me is skindeeeeep, CHEERS!!!! Love all of you with those gr8 lines..it only tells us we’ve come a long way…!!!!

Musings of Life!

After lot of coaxing from a fren me starting with this, had always thought of it but somehow could not get myself to do this. Days are passing by so fast at times i sit n wonder what i did in the past..one has no record of the doings of the day, times when i felt lost when there was so much happening in life and not a person to share, i would write my diary very religiously and later one day would sit reading it and start sobbing, wondering why im made so emotional..n why others arent...right now life seems beautiful..len(my greatest joy!!!) is growing up and every day he learns a new word, new something to tell me when i hit back home, there are moments i wonder what my life would have been without him..he bought in so much joy in so many lives..when i didnt know to ride a bike.. i would always admire girls who could do it, one fine day when someone good friend offered me to teach me how to do it i thought that was it..i didnt need anything ...in a salwar suit i went Vroom...vroom..in a yamaha cant help smiling when i think of it and then came my desire to learn driving the car..there enters my famous husband..who said yes u gotta do it..5 mins and we were over with it, had a bitter fight got back home, the same episode repeated 5 more times and i was like this' is it...no more driving for me..After years..i again had this wish back in my wishlist(Prio 1) and i rushed to the nearby driving school and enrolled..all i did for 10 days was to sit in front of the steering n wonder will i make it..of course i did only after Pa bought a car...there i go again Vroooommmm...................................!im happy i am always up to something, wanting to do something new, i love challenges in life..and for me biggest challenge is LIVING..believe me i make an effort..

Just for U!

This one’s for you.....................

Have been thinking from a very long time when was it I lived my life..yes! it was then(do you remember?) I have vowed that I will not take names as it will ruffle a lot of relationships and turn nasty..maybe everything we built in years would just go away with mere words..or maybe not also as always I might prove wrong, but its ok its better this way.

Today I am so mature that I don't feel a thing when I look back, well actually I do feel happy that it was nothing but a mystery why we had to part..but maybe it was destined to happen..

Never found anyone your types..i could so much relate to you, God! We were worst than girlfriends,,we could possibly talk endlessly isn’t it..i hardly talk today not that I cant, I don't have anything to talk about. I feel so tongue-tied in all situations, somehow we lost out on being good friends isn’t it?? We could have made each other's proud if we had just remained friends but no its no use we discuss this….

I think you have done well in life I always feared for you, thought you will never handle responsibilities etc..etc, proved me wrong!!! Deep within I hated you for having everything and not having to strive for anything, you never knew what it was to earn a living or how is it live in this big bad world. Being from a affluent family and born with a golden spoon in your mouth it was so much easy..you really didn't have to make an effort, I still remember the first time I was introduced to you near to the college I hated you at the glance you were one of those rich types(?!) but the second time it was ok and now I shall stop I don't really want to write about each and every meeting of ours it might take me hours.

We didn't have a reason to become close and neither did we have one to call it quits, we were in no ways committed..a bit more than friends and way less than a actual relationship, but today I realize we were what they call the “best of buddies” material only thing which went against us was our gender8-) when I generally searched for you on Orkut(after ages!)..i was taken aback didn't expect you to be so much there, although the pic was not so clear..but I couldn't be wrong..then began the sneak and peak which I know is wrong. I also wrote to you but never got ur reply anyways I know it would no ways change anything.
There were moments I wanted to share with you ...like the day I got my degree results(man..i managed a first class, good na?), then did my medical transcription course…went to work for a ad agency..moved to this city..kinda grew up…got married..became a Mom..and all the while missed ya..missed that affectionate friend who never had once raised voice or spoke harsh there were moments I thought I will not survive this big bad world and its nuances but actually I did, very self sufficient today..earning a very decent sal…good set of colleagues..excellent company..probably more than I ever dreamt off……. Had my share of relationships..some of them were a immediate passé some stood the test of times….trust me I am no longer that Sushma(I somehow don't remember you ever calling my name..u hardly ever…///)hmmm…good u never did or else I would have another reason to remember YOU…

God bless dear one..be happy…u are one of the nicest human beings I ever met..ByeOOOOOOO..